Intelligently designed Avian flu

In a dramatic move, President Bush tried a couple of weeks back to deflect attention from the Scooter Libby indictment and its effect on the President's swooning poll numbers by addressing the Nation on the impending Avian flu pandemic.

Of course, there isn't any Avian flu pandemic currently because the virus that causes it can't be transmitted between humans. Scientists, however, believe that the virus can mutate and become capable of just that.

Now, I think I learned in Science class when I was young that mutation is a form of adaptation, a process of natural selection, that allows a species to acquire newer, more effective ways to survive. As a matter of fact, this principle is the bedrock upon which the theory of evolution has been built.

President Bush, not a big fan of science, has stressed that he'd prefer to lend credence to Intelligent Design, the belief that only the Lord can handle a job so complex as creating the heavens and the earth.

Presidental Reality Check: In his speech, Bush said, "If the virus were to develop the capacity for sustained human-to-human transmission, it could spread quickly across the globe."

All right, Mr. President, answer me this. How exactly is the virus going to develop this capacity? Through evolution or intelligent design? Why are we all going to die? Is it going to be Darwin or is it going to be God?

God's lips to Bush's ear: Spend $7.1 billion or don't. Cuz hold on, I comin'.

Doesn't sound that intelligent. But, hey, maybe we deserve it.